Having a child is a blessing. Whether that is a baby you conceive and give birth to, adopt, or even look after for a period of foster care. It’s an amazing journey to embark on and one that I think all parents look back on with fond memories. There does, however, sometimes come a time where you start to think about the possibility of adding to your family. It can be a decision that takes some time to come to an agreement on, and often the easiest point is the deciding factor. But, conception or adoptive processes can take time, we all know that, and often it doesn’t happen at precisely the right moment we intend. Nature has a funny way of doing that, doesn’t it?
However, once you know you are officially adding to your family, now what? You need to ease your current family dynamic into the idea of having a new member and enable the transition from one child to two, or two children to three and so on. This can be a tricky process to handle and often the hardest part. You are excited about the new addition, but you are also very mindful of how your children or child is going to react. Will they welcome a new child into the fold? Will they find it distressing? Will there be jealously? These are all viable things that could happen. So I wanted to share with you some of the ways you can make this transition a little easier on all involved.
Talk about the new arrival
It’s time to talk about the impending arrival with your child. Finding the right time to do it is personal to you. You may want to get them involved from the beginning, perhaps at the time you find you are pregnant or the adoption process has been accepted. Maybe you want to wait until a certain amount of time has passed, perhaps waiting for a scan or when you have a clearer idea on timescale. Of course, the last thing you want to do is disappoint your child, so finding the right time is always going to be a personal decision for you. Make sure you do what feels right for you and your family. The way you do it again depends on how you think your child might react. You may need to enter it into conversation casually a few times to gauge a reaction. Or you could choose to make the reveal an event and announcing it in a creative way. There are videos on Youtube that could inspire you of some of the creative ways to tell your child there is a new baby or sibling on the way.
Get them actively involved in the process
Now they know a sibling is on the way you can then decide how involved they will be in the process. In most scenarios, having them involved throughout will help them to feel more included in the process and it could help you to bond with your child while allowing them to warm up to the idea of having another sibling sharing your love and attention. It’s important to encourage and reassure that nothing changes between you and your child, and that the love and affection will remain the same. You need to make sure that they feel part of the family still. It’s hard to not be overwhelmed with excitement, but when you have others to consider you need to try and keep their thoughts at the forefront of your mind.
Get your child to help decorate the new room
There are other ways other than just involving children in the process, you can physically do things together as well to ensure that they feel involved with their new sibling. One major area would be the decoration of the room. Whether you are creating a nursery or a room fit for a toddler or older child everyone can be part of choosing what goes in there, and it can be a great fun family activity. Nursery items include things like cots or a chance to browse range of moses baskets available to help them sleep. You could include something like a nursing chair and some cute cuddly toys that your child could personally choose. Other aspects could include choosing the colour scheme, which could be helps if you know whether it will be a brother or sister that will be added to the family.
Consider a gift from the new baby or child
Finally, a gift from the new baby or child to your current child could be a great gesture to encourage sibling bonding once the baby or child makes their arrival. Many families choose to do this option and there have been opinions that state it works very well.
I hope that this helps you with the transition of adding to your family. Join our Tribe today to get great insider tips from a Headteacher about everything from bullying to school lunches to talking to the class teacher!
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