How NOT to lose weight FAST

How NOT to lose weight FAST!

So a few weeks ago I wrote about how we were working hard over here at the Tribe to lose that excess baggage we’ve been carrying around for nigh on 20 years now! I stumbled upon a diet that really worked for me (if you haven’t seen it yet, definitely check out my idiot’s guide on losing weight!) But, it then occurred to me that, when I was looking around for a diet, I’d have liked to have an idea how NOT to lose weight rather than how to. Somehow, avoiding things seems much easier in my book than doing things!  

So….based on my extensive experience of eating far too much, exercising far too little, and generally taking no care of myself for over 20 years – here is my guide on how NOT to lose weight…FAST!

How NOT to lose weight FAST! Image of fast food and healthy eating food on a grey table.

Tip 1 – Clear your plate

OK, hands up whose parents told them to clear their plates when they were small? Can’t just be me! Remember being told:

‘Starving children would be grateful for those sprouts!’ ? 


‘There are people all over the world who would be delighted to eat liver and onions!’

Hmmmm….definitely not just me!  The issue here is totally psychological – we’ve been conditioned since being children to eat everything on our plates.  I get it – honest I do. Since having kids myself, it frustrates me beyond anything when they refuse food, or become fussy eaters.  BUT – I’m making sure NOT to say that to them.  After all, one of the reasons I put on weight was because I always made sure I finished everything on my plate, as well as any left overs! 

Yep – utter madness, and honestly if I cooked less then I wouldn’t have this problem, but still, my tip, if you don’t want to lose weight is – clear your plate! I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll eat calories for several people without even trying!

Tip 2 – Ignore your stomach!

Ever been sat around, watching TV and suddenly got a huge craving for the kids’ Easter Eggs you’ve got stashed away at the back of the cupboard?? Even though you’ve just finished a huge meal, and your stomach is probably groaning, you need to ignore that and only listen to your mouth!  I don’t know about you, but  my stomach and my taste buds have a tendency to fall out with each other on an hourly basis.  My stomach is telling me I’m full, but my taste buds refuse to listen and are demanding something sweet or spicy. 

And which is going to win??

Well, your taste buds of course.  My theory (completely unscientifically) is that they are closer to the brain, so the message gets there before the stomach’s message.  (Oh, and nope I definitely don’t want someone in the know to explain to me why this isn’t so – I like my theory and I’m sticking to it!) 

So, a definite way to NOT lose weight, is to ignore your stomach, ignore that slightly sick groaning feeling, and just listen to your taste buds.  Your mouth will be super happy, not so much your waist line – but still!

Tip 3 – Don’t bother cooking! Takeouts are so much easier!

Not too many months ago, I sat down and worked out that we were spending over £350 on take aways and meals out each month! Each month!!!!  We’d have a Chinese on a Monday (fully justified as the kids have swimming lessons then and it was always far too late to cook!), we’d have fish and chips on a Wednesday (seriously..who cooks on hump day??).  On Friday it was obviously important to go out for dinner to celebrate the start of the weekend – and NO ONE cooks at the weekend!

As each take out and meal out comes in at a relatively conservative 1500 calories for the one meal, and that’s not including drinks, then over the course of a day we were each consuming in the region of 3000 calories.  3000 calories!!!!!!!  That is definitely the way to NOT lose weight really really FAST!

In all seriousness, although this is obviously tongue in cheek (yep…I wasn’t being serious!), I’ve discovered that it I STOP doing these three things, then the weight begins to drop off. 

I would LOVE to hear any top tips you’ve got that you STOPPED doing to help you lose weight!

Sometimes it's easier to stop doing something, rather than to start doing something else! Click To Tweet

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