Now, I have to be up front here and say that none of my friends judge me for what I do with my children or my life. They are so fully supportive of the things we do – are always there at the end of the phone (or the computer) to gee me up and make me feel better about myself. This post is not about them! This post is about those other people out there – the ones hidden behind computer screens. The ones who really like to judge. Thankfully there’s not that many of them, and most people I’ve met online are so wonderfully supportive, but the judgers are out there. So far I’ve been judged about:
- Letting my children have screen time. After all, don’t I know what the studies show? Don’t I know how much harm I could be doing to my children? Don’t I know??? Well, sure I’ve read the studies, but do you know what, you could find a study for pretty much anything if you look hard enough. I’m pretty sure that if I had the time (which I really don’t being a full time mum to 2 school aged kids) I could find a study which showed how beneficial screen time was to children. The thing is, when I was small we watched TV. Yep, quite a lot! But we also read books, played games, played outside, met friends and had adventures. My kids? Well, they watch TV on their kindles quite a lot. But they also read books, play games, go on play dates and have adventures. I turned out pretty OK – I’m sure they will too.
- Letting them eat chocolate cereal for breakfast. I honestly get that’s it’s not that healthy, I really do. But their diets are so very very healthy aside from this. They would choose a piece of fruit or cucumber over sweets pretty much any day. They aren’t keen on biscuits or cakes and rarely have pudding, so I’m feeling OK about chocolate cereal! To me it’s about teaching in moderation rather than denying!
- Letting Little Sir watch Star Wars. I’ve been told that he is too young, too impressionable, it’ll give him nightmares. Well, it hasn’t. He loves Star Wars – he loves the fact he gets to watch it with his Daddy and they talk about what is going on in it. He loves the spaceships and the characters. You could say he is a little obsessed, but only in the way little boys can be. After all, some of the Star Wars films are rated U, it’s not as though he is watching a 15! Now, I’m not hugely keen on him re enacting scenes with light sabres and blasters, but it has opened up a conversation about appropriate play! Surely that’s a good thing!
- Home schooling Little Miss. I’ve been told that she needs to have social interaction, needs to talk to children of her own age, shouldn’t be isolated. They make it sound as though I’ve locked her in a room and never let her out! Little Miss has loads of social interactions. She has all sorts of learning needs and complications which means that she needs an adult to help her make friends and interact with others, so that is my job. To teach her how to do this now, so she can head out into the big bad world and keep her end up! There’s a purpose behind my choice – we talked it over, thought about it long and hard and made the decision which is best for her!
I guess the thing about blogging is that you put your opinions and thoughts out there for other people to read, and I wouldn’t expect everyone to agree with me. So that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking you to not judge others. You don’t know what they are going through or what their lives are like. You only know the tiny bit of them they put on the screen, whether that’s on Mumsnet, on Facebook or on Twitter. Maybe, before you judge, think about supporting instead. You don’t know the whole story and, just because it isn’t what you would do, it doesn’t make it wrong! Does it?
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