Dear Salesman: Please Don’t Patronise Me!

      1 Comment on Dear Salesman: Please Don’t Patronise Me!

Dear Sir, Firstly, let me start by saying that I recognise that you are somewhat older than me. I also recognise that you are a man. Thirdly I recognise that, in previous times, this has been exclusively man’s business.  Buying a car; purchasing furniture; selling a house – all, in days gone by, were organised by the man of the house. I get it – you are used to dealing with a man. So when I answer the door and invite you in, your go to response is to patronise.  I am writing to ask you to STOP!

Firstly, just to recap history a little for you. Are you aware that women now sit very happily alongside men in all the ‘top jobs’ in the country? In fact we have had TWO female Prime Ministers (just in case you hadn’t noticed!) And they have done and are doing as good a job as a man.  So……I think that’s a good indication of what a woman can do!  Secondly please don’t make assumptions based on looks.  Things are not always as they seem.

I might appear, at first glance, to be  quite young. I guess you assumed that I wouldn’t know how the world worked! But in reality, I have been the Headteacher of a Primary School for 3 years and a Primary Teacher for 7 more.  I’ve dealt with parents, governors, MP’s and Mayor’s.  I know how to hold my own and I know how the world works.  So calling me ‘dear’  and saying  ‘I’m sure you wouldn’t understand, but don’t worry about it’ is highly patronising and just plain annoying.

Now, before you assume this is a little lady getting all worked up about nothing – please be reassured that I am mostly a calm, unflappalbe person.  Things don’t really bother me too much and I can let most things run off me without worrying about it. After all, life really is too short.  But I bring this to your attention because I would like my children to grow up in a world where everyone is respected regardless or sex, creed, colour or religion.  A big ask I know. But if I can help to make one small difference by bringing your attention to your manner, then hopefully you can change your ways and that would be a great start.

You see, the thing you appear to have forgotten is, I am the one ultimately in charge.  I am the one who is going to make the decision about whether we buy a car from you, or use your moving company, or buy a mattress.  You don’t get to make that decision, and telling me that ‘you shouldn’t really talk to any other salesmen as we are the best’ is NOT your decision.

I do know how things work! I can buy my own car, can hold my own in a bed shop and certainly understand how a removals firm work. So, before you patronise the next person, be it because they are young or female or elderly, just remember, it is us who have the power – not you! Maybe that is worth thinking about!!


An independent strong female who is fed up of being patronised!

Diary of an imperfect mum

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